Accusations
by hersheygal
Summary: Kate tries to make sense of Jack’s “I love you.” but realizes that she probably never will. Set before The Beginning Of the End.


Accusations

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, but I'm just now getting around to posting it because I didn't like it. I still don't like it, but whatever. lol!

Kate could barely think straight. She could barely stand up. The fact that Jack was depending on her was what kept her going. They were getting rescued, and all she could think about was Jack. When did that happen? She shouldn't be thinking about Jack. She loved Sawyer, didn't she?

Kate followed Jack through the jungle, feeling sticky with sweat and dirt. She hardly felt worthy of anyone at the moment. She probably looked a mess, her hair in all directions. She was tired and wanted to rest, but didn't want to stop Jack, who looked like a man on a mission.

Kate felt dizzy and faint, and she stopped and reached for the nearest tree to help support her. "Jack." She said quietly, but he still heard her.

He turned around, his eyes questioning, but his face filled with concern.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Jack covered the space between them within seconds, grabbing her arm gently in order to help her stay up.

"I just need a second." Kate said softly, closing her eyes.

"Okay, that's fine. We can stop. Sit down." Jack ordered her, and she gratefully obeyed.

Jack sat down beside her, taking his backpack off. He took his water bottle and a cloth. He wet the cloth, and without hesitating he touched Kate's forehead with it. He then bought it to her cheeks and her neck.

Kate shivered under the cold touch of the cloth, and the occasional touch of Jack's warm fingertips against her face.

"Are you feeling any better?" Jack asked her.

"I think it's all catching up to me, you know? I mean, so much has happened. I'm so sick of it all. So many people have died, and I just feel like we'll never be happy."

"I know, but it's almost over. We're going home." Jack couldn't help but grin at that.

Kate opened her eyes and returned Jack's smile. "We're going home."

"You think you can get up now?" Jack asked her.

"Yeah."

Jack helped Kate up, and they continued on, slower now.

Kate was mad at herself for appearing weak to Jack. She was never weak. How could she be weak now, especially now?

"Hey Jack, can I ask you a question?"

Jack laughed. "Yeah what?"

"Did you really mean what you said?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you told me," Kate paused. "When you told me you loved me." The words were difficult to say.

Jack turned to look at her, and Kate held her breath as she looked at his face. His face was thoughtful and calm. Kate liked it.

"Yes, I did." A slight smile spread over his face.

Kate stared at him for a second in silence, the anger bubbling over.

"You can't just say that." Kate blurted out.

"What?"

'You can't tell a woman you love her after kissing another woman!"

Jack just stared at her.

"Don't you know how misleading that is? How…. painful that is?!"

"Painful?" Jack raised his eyebrows, almost looking hurt himself. His hand brushed through his hair, now longer than it had ever been. He couldn't believe her.

He turned away from her a second, trying hard to not yell at her. When he looked back at her, she still had that furious expression in her eyes, and that's all it took for him to snap.

"You're telling _me _that kissing Juliet hurt _you_?" Jack's eyes were wild with anger, and Kate fought the urge to step back.

"What about me Kate?"

Kate bit her lip, regretting ever bringing this up. They always did better together when they never discussed their cryptic relationship.

Jack thought that he had had a control on his feelings, but bottling them up after all this time had been a bad thing. "You know what I was doing when I saw you? You and Sawyer? I was trying to get you free! Here I was, ready to escape, when I turned to look at the cameras. And you and Sawyer were naked in the cages!"

Kate hadn't realized that she had started crying. "I came back for you." It was all that she could say.

"Gee, thanks Kate. I'm glad you care about my life." Jack shook his head, and stepped away from Kate. He hadn't meant to blow up like that, and he felt bad.

"Then why do you love me? Why do you love me if I hurt you so bad? Why do you even bother? I don't get you Jack." Kate's voice was stronger now, and Jack could now hear the anger in her voice.

Jack's eyes were softer now as he approached her again. He whispered softly, "Don't you get it Kate? I've tried. I've tried so hard to let you go. But I can't. And I understand that you love Sawyer. It's fine. I don't want you to lie and tell me you love me, I'm fine with that."

Jack walked away again, signifying that they were supposed to move on, and Kate just stared at him in frustration. Then Jack turned around again.

"And for the record, I didn't kiss Juliet, she kissed me. And guess what?"

Kate just stared at him as if she was trying to burn holes in his chest. She wished she could burn a hole through his heart, but then she realized that she had already done that.

"You're the better kisser."

Kate's mouth dropped open, and then she tried to ignore that comment, although she could feel the warmth of her cheeks. She was grateful for the distance between them now.

"But you kissed her back!" Kate reminded him.

"It meant nothing Kate. You of all people should understand that." Jack said gently.

He walked over to her again, and touched both of her shoulders with his hands. His hands slowly went down her arms and stopped halfway down.

They stared at each other for the longest time. Kate's heart beat faster. She didn't know if she could handle him kissing her right now. As if he had read her mind, he stated the obvious.

"You want me to kiss you right now." Jack's voice was low, and irresistible.

Kate moved closer to Jack. "Maybe."

Jack brought his head closer to Kate so that their lips were only a few inches away from each other.

"And you want to kiss me." Kate said, also stating the obvious.

Jack smiled. "Maybe."

Kate was ready for the kiss now. She wanted it more than anything. She wanted Jack more than anything. And for once, she had his complete attention. It was more than she could have ever asked for.

Jack suddenly backed away, and with a teasing smile on his face, he said. "We gotta get going."

Kate shook her head and glared at Jack. "We don't have to go right now."

"Yes we do." Jack said, and then softer, to himself he muttered, "Trust me, we have to."

Kate sighed and continued to follow him through the jungle. Maybe one day they could finally get what they wanted, but not today.


End file.
